Motto: Jason Unbourne

I haven’t written in a while because I haven’t had internet in a while. Melissa and I are moving to a full-blown house in less than a week*. Rather than pay for a half-month of internet, I elected to go ahead and cancel our home service. MELISSA and (sorta) I have been packing up our entire place, so the free time has been reduced somewhat. Packing and consolidating and repacking and reconsolidating. Plus working, maintaining a decent-ish workout routine, a social life, and a happy/healthy relationship… the Column has taken a backseat.

*assuming all goes as planned.

Pokemon Go exploded. It’s huge in a way I would not have believed one month ago. I’ve got mixed feeling about it and its popularity - but that hasn’t stopped us from “Pokemoning” for hours on end many times over the past two weeks. I’m level 18 as of this writing. I hope to be level 19 by the time I finish this post (assuming any pokemon show up at all at Whole Foods). Thanks to this game, I’ve visited Loose Park, gone to the Plaza twice, been to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art… but I’ve been mostly staring at my phone during that time. Right now I’m mostly for it. Melissa and I are having fun together, and that’s what matters to me most. I’ll have more fun when I find a Charizard.

“Jason Bourne” came out. Spoilers: it was hugely disappointing. I revere the first 3 movies as my top 3 favorite movies in the action genre. This one was devastatingly disappointing. I’m more hard on it than most of the critics I’ve read. I thought it was mostly a pile of garbage. I rewatched the original trilogy in anticipation of the new one. They hold up - so I know it’s not just “my tastes have changed”… it’s that “Jason Bourne” didn’t have NEARLY enough actual Jason Bourne. There was too much bullcrap “tech” stuff jammed in. Too much side character focus. Too much side plot. WAY TOO MUCH shakeycam. Overall I give the film a “WHY” out of ten.

Thursday Melissa and I will become homeowners. That puts us one dog and 2.4 children away from “The American Dream”. I’m all for it. I can’t wait to have a place to settle down, build up some equity, and begin the next phase of my life with my wife whose the love of my life. We’ve been doing a pretty good for the past four years (which you’ll have the chance to glimpse into soon), but I get a feeling that by staying put we’re about to start really going places. We love the place, and have some ideas that hopefully will make us love it even more. I’m sure I’ll have pictures on here soon.

Jason Bourne, Pokemon Go, I’ve got one other piece of trending thing Aaron opinions to share - it’s about the Prisma app. I’d heard about it in weeks past in many of the various tech-related podcasts I listen to on my commute, but I hadn’t bothered getting around to try it until earlier today.

Holy crap.

It’s cool, dude. I don’t need to tell you, though, I can just show you:

Now - without further dudes… here’s the last 4 years of my life, summarized in ~35 minutes:

My 24th Year:

My 25th Year:

My 26th Year:

My 27th Year:

Only 359 days until my next one. Come that day I bet I’ll probably use that as my Top 5.

Top 5: Pros of Owning a House (I assume)
5. SO MUCH MORE ROOM FOR ACTIVITIES!
4. Seriously, so much more room. Room for a kid. Room for guests. Room for a gym. Room for an office. Room for a second bathroom. Room for a 3rd. Room to park your cars.
3. Freedom to do what you want. “I think I’d like to draw a big smiley face on this wall.” “I think I’d like to play the djembe even though it’s 2am.” “I think I’d like to change how this looks.”
2. Not throwing money away on a monthly basis. Plus, the amount you get in return for the increased cost is really pretty amazing. I can’t believe how little our monthly payments are going up compared to the amount we get back from it.
1. Having a place that is really and truly yours.

Top 5: Cons of Owning a House (I assume)
5. “Well it turns out I need to move to Cleveland… should I go through the hassle of selling my house or just slam every finger I own in every door I own instead?“
4. Big ticket expenses that could hit at any time.
3. No more “maintenance guys” to call when something breaks.
2. There’s only TWO Pokestops within walking distance. What is this, the Dark Ages?
1. Mowing the lawn. I don’t care if it’s not a “manly” thing to say, mowing the lawn sucks.

Quote:
“I was just hearing a fair amount of mouth and nose sounds.”
- Danielle -

“You should be smug at a minimum.”
- Chuck -

“Also I dare anyone to listen to ‘X Gon Give It to Ya’ and not get jacked.”
- Joe -