The Column
Motto: Yaaaaaaay Debt!
It’s Sunday night. This is the second of the scheduled updates. It’s a going to be a nice, short post.
For the past 10 years of my life I have been a member of the car driving community, but not of the car owning community. I’ve been issued hand-me-downs and even a car of my own by my ridiculously supportive parents… but I’ve never really owned one.
Or, I hadn’t, until yesterday when I bought a 2011 Hyundai Sonata Hybrid.
The specs I cared about:
- I can fit in it
- It has four tires
- It has an engine
- It gets >30 miles per gallon
- It was in my price range
- Bonus: it has another engine
- Bonus: it has Bluetooth (which I love)
- Bonus: it’s push-button start
- Bonus: it looks alright (IMHO)
Without further ado (I say that pretending you hadn’t already noticed this picture)…
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Mark IV
I struggled coming up with a subtitle for that photo because it was to be the name of the vehicle. I was going to do an anagram for “Sonata Hybrid”, but the list of acronyms I came up with were pretty unflattering…
- Rash Antibody
- Abstain, Hydro
- A Handy Bistro
- Brandy is Oath
- Hi, Yon Bastard!
“Mark IV” is much better.
That’s the column, folks.
To go out on, here’s a picture of me in a Hulk mask:
I think my face is a bit larger than this mask’s intended audience
Top 5: Drawbacks of Having Your Own, New Car
- The “I’m getting a new car soon anyway” safety net is gone from your driving
- You actually want to keep it clean, which takes effort
- People assume you’re an adult when you own a car despite pictures on the internet of you wearing masks designed for 11-year-olds proving that you’re in no way mature
- Keeping up with paperwork and legalities
- Paying for your own car
Quote:
“HULK EMPATHIZE!” Melissa, after she was venting to me while I was wearing the Hulk mask