The Column
Motto: Guess I’m Going to Have to Learn Football
I got invited to play fantasy football. That means I have to name my team. Here are the choices I’ve come up with thus far:
- The Finicky Hobos
- The Demonstrably Goods
- Pure Vanilla Cake
- Rastafarian Pasta
- Draft Junk
- Perl Jam
- Dirty Mike and the Boys (suggested by Jon and myself at the exact same time)
- Holy Ducks
- Unicorn Territory
- Ball Handles
- Tubbawamba Chumpthumping
- Mr. Bo Jangles
- The Kansas City Chafes
- Cleft Leapord
- Queens of the Bronze Age
- This Team Goes Up to Eleven
- Dibs on Not Dre
- The Swiss Kababobs
- Baaaallooooooooga!
- Steve Harvey Danger
- Untitled Team That Wins
- The Rereplacements
- Half-Dollarback
- Fight Club Reference
- Jim Carrey, James Pass
- Archimedes Garfunkel
- Buffalo Bill Dauterives
- The Pathetic Attempts
- GODZILLA!
- Spock and McCoy are Drunk
- The White Keys, The Black Stripes
- Mitch
- Risky Biddness
- I Don’t Know What a Touchback is, But…
- Holiday Win Express
- Training Bros
- Dr. Jan Itor
- The Paleolithic Jerks
- Oscar Meyer Winners
- Momma’s Boys
- Two Goldfish, One Bowl
- Hoof Hearted
- The Sleezey Geezers
- MILEY IS HANNAH
- The Lazy Susans
- The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift
- Cornwallace
- Platonic Handholders
- THOR’S MIGHTY HAMMER
- Two Particular Resistors on an Infinite Grid
- Err In Raw Skill
- The Washington Racial Slurs (Team Name Already Taken)
- Conan the Librarian
- Conflict at the Cytosine-Guanine Border
- BoJack Horsemen
- The Emoting Mules
- The London Sillinannies
- In Europe It’s Called 0.3048Meterball
- HashtagYOLO
- The Incredible Bulk
- Pastyface Fryguy
- Shakey Cameras: A Gimbling Problem
- Success Kid
- San Fransisco 7
- Skillful Football Guys
- Yourself
- The Nameless Henchmen
- The Abusement Park
- Eleven Pipers Piping
- Offensive Line
- This Team Is Brought to You by the Letter D
- The A Team’s B Team
- The Inferior Complexities
- Huge Jackedman: Swoleverine
- Laces Out
I am going to rule these fools.
Top 5: Team Name Choices
5. The A Team’s B Team
4. Oscar Meyer Winners
3. This Team Goes Up to Eleven
2. Offensive Line
1. Archimedes Garfunkel - the winner for now, but I anticipate changing this often
Quote:
“I Really Like Cleft Leapord”
- Joe -