The Column
Motto: I Like Posts Like This
If you’re reading this, there’s a zero percent chance any of these are directed at you. To whom it may concern, You park like a jerk. Learn to aim. I’m glad we don’t share a bathroom, because then I’d probably resent you even more. - Aaron
To whom it may concern, I’m not impressed by how loud your car is. Also, it didn’t really accellerate when you were revving your engine. Were you trying to show off how hard your car has to work in order to just go? - Aaron
To whom it may concern, Your burritos are delicious. There is an employee or two that I don’t like, but your burritos make up for it. - Aaron
To whom it may concern, I like your shirt. - Aaron
To whom it may concern, I saw you trip when I drove by. - The guy in the red car
To whom it may concern, Celebrating ignorance will be the downfall of the human condition. - Aaron
To whom it may concern, Your cans are genius. They protect the aerodynamic deliciousness that lay therein. I have a request: make a larger chip and a larger can. I can’t get my hand down in there like I used to when I was a kid. I know I can tip the can over and pour chips out, but that’s not the point. I liked sticking my whole forearm in there, now I can’t even get my knuckles in there. - A large-handed former buyer
To whom it may concern, I’m sorry I scared you. - The really tall guy getting off the elevator
To whom it may concern, I want to tell you how awesome your accent is, but I don’t want to sound like a goof. - Aaron
To whom it may concern, You’re beautiful. - Your husband Okay that last one might be directed towards a reader of the Column.
The picture to go out on - unrelated to any of the above. My current weight.
Top 5: Names for the October “Eat More, Lift More” Challenge
5. Swole Brewing company’s Octoberflex 4. Gainz on the Great Plainz 3. A Torrential Gainstorm 2. The Search for Shredded October 1. The Incredible Bulk - how I’m going to refer to the challenge from now on
Quote:
“Journey to Swolehalla” - Jon, who helped me come up with my Top 5 today -