The Column
Motto One: Three column’s in one.
Motto Two: Not too long, though.
Motto Three: I promise.
A lot has gone on since my last update. Realistically, I should could have updated the column three times since then…but I haven’t. However, in my “To Do” application, underneath the “The Column” category, I have 3 Quotes and 3 Top 5’s. Rather than push them back, I think I’ll just to a quick “feature dump” by treating this update like three different columns.
Column One: Pre-2013
The week or two before new years was filled with me seeing people. If you check out my second-a-day video (more on that later) you’ll see it’s basically just a catalog of who I saw and what we did on any given day. This is great, though. That’s what the holidays are for.
Column Two: 2013!
It’s 2013! For some reason, that doesn’t seem like the future to me. 2012 always seemed like the future in 2011. Even during 2012 I constantly thought “it’s 2012… we are LIVING IN THE FUTURE!“. Now. Now I don’t know what to think. We are in the post-future. The apocalypse (more on that later) came and went and hardly anyone died, as far as I know. 2013 wasn’t supposed to happen!
We are all lucky.
I have made some New Year’s resolutions. To keep the trend I’ll just say (more on that later).
I was finally able to give Melissa the Nexus 4 I ordered for her over a month ago. We are technological twins. Feels good.
We played another “minute to win it” night with our friends in our building. It was faaaaantastic fun - despite the the fact that I didn’t win this time. Stupid ping pong balls.
Column Three: Business Trip
I am writing you this post from a hotel room in Oklahoma City, OK. I am here for business. I brought the company car. I am on company time. And the company is going to pay for the meal I’m going to go eat right after this (although, really, in a roundabout way, they pay for every meal I get).
Traveling for business is interesting. It’s actually not half bad, really. I have already had the chance to check out some of OKC, and I’m still going to be here for another 8 days. During the 30 minutes I was in town, I used my phone to take a photo, video, panorama, photosphere, and make a GIF. This doesn’t seem impressive until you learn that I did all of it without consciously realizing just how fully I was utilizing my new camera (phone). This speaks a ton to how natural and useful EACH of the new modes is in Android’s 4.2 camera (and the GIF maker app I installed).
Pictures for One:
1/2 of the tribe
mELIssa before the new year.
Pictures for Two:
The view outside the cheesecake factory - a photosphere panorama
Pictures for Three:
This picture does not do justice to how much taller this is than everything else. An actual panorama of Devon Tower, in Oklahoma City
Next to the botanical gardens - a true photosphere Video - Updated version of My 24th year… 5 months and 8 days in.
(video lost to time)
Top 5 One: Non-Apple iProducts
- iBm (International Business Machines, not “i Bowel Movement”) - This one I made up cause I couldn’t think of any others right now… the rest are legitimate
- iBeats by Dre - a stupid headphone trend makes headphones with a stupid trendy name
- I, Robot - My iPhone held a heavy object above me. It dropped it with the full intention of saving me from it before it crushed me… then it changed its mind.
- IHOP - International House of Phones
- iFone - a phone company in Mexico that Apple sued… despite them having that name for years before the original iPhone came out. True story.
Top 5: New Year’s Resolutions
- Live a more disciplined life overall. Sleep at a decent time. Things of that nature.
- Start saving money more successfully.
- Keep finding projects to do and things to learn.
- Keep the projects I’m currently working on going until completion.
- While Melissa is away, I’m going to become the most physically fit man I’ve ever been . Oh yeah, she’s leaving for half a year, I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet. It’s a story for another column.
Top 5: Ideas this Hotel Room has Given Me for Weight Loss
- No stove. That one’s easy.
- A fridge the size of a shoebox. Also an easy call.
- A mirror overhanging the place where you eat. One that only lets you see your face. You have to watch yourself chew every bite. After a while, you don’t feel like eating anymore because you realize you look like a pig.
- No light switches. Instead - 10 different lamps which must all be turned on and off by walking to them. Turning the lights off is now exercise.
- Instead of shower curtains, a clear glass wall. On the other side of this wall, a full-body mirror, about 10 feet in the distance - so you can get a gooood look at just how fat you look every morning.
Quote One:
“It’s like a car wash for your butt” Anonymous
Quote Two:
“It’s the little wrecking ball in your throat” Melissa’s cousin as an answer to the question ‘what’s a uvula?‘
Quote Three:
“So… when I uncork an apocalyptic thunderpoop they all know? Oh great” Redditor Spinozasrobot, after finding out the bathrooms in the rear of an airplane are not very soundproof