#56 - A Three-Post Post

5 minute read

Motto One: Three column’s in one.

Motto Two: Not too long, though.

Motto Three: I promise.

A lot has gone on since my last update. Realistically, I should could have updated the column three times since then…but I haven’t. However, in my “To Do” application, underneath the “The Column” category, I have 3 Quotes and 3 Top 5’s. Rather than push them back, I think I’ll just to a quick “feature dump” by treating this update like three different columns.

Column One: Pre-2013

The week or two before new years was filled with me seeing people. If you check out my second-a-day video (more on that later) you’ll see it’s basically just a catalog of who I saw and what we did on any given day. This is great, though. That’s what the holidays are for.

Column Two: 2013!

It’s 2013! For some reason, that doesn’t seem like the future to me. 2012 always seemed like the future in 2011. Even during 2012 I constantly thought “it’s 2012… we are LIVING IN THE FUTURE!”. Now. Now I don’t know what to think. We are in the post-future. The apocalypse (more on that later) came and went and hardly anyone died, as far as I know. 2013 wasn’t supposed to happen!

We are all lucky.

I have made some New Year’s resolutions. To keep the trend I’ll just say (more on that later).

I was finally able to give Melissa the Nexus 4 I ordered for her over a month ago. We are technological twins. Feels good.

We played another “minute to win it” night with our friends in our building. It was faaaaantastic fun - despite the the fact that I didn’t win this time. Stupid ping pong balls.

Column Three: Business Trip

I am writing you this post from a hotel room in Oklahoma City, OK. I am here for business. I brought the company car. I am on company time. And the company is going to pay for the meal I’m going to go eat right after this (although, really, in a roundabout way, they pay for every meal I get).

Traveling for business is interesting. It’s actually not half bad, really. I have already had the chance to check out some of OKC, and I’m still going to be here for another 8 days. During the 30 minutes I was in town, I used my phone to take a photo, video, panorama, photosphere, and make a GIF. This doesn’t seem impressive until you learn that I did all of it without consciously realizing just how fully I was utilizing my new camera (phone). This speaks a ton to how natural and useful EACH of the new modes is in Android’s 4.2 camera (and the GIF maker app I installed).

Pictures for One:

1/2 of the tribe mELIssa before the new year. Pictures for Two:

The view outside the cheesecake factory - a photosphere panorama

Pictures for Three:

This picture does not do justice to how much taller this is than everything else. An actual panorama of Devon Tower, in Oklahoma City

Next to the botanical gardens - a true photosphere Video - Updated version of My 24th year… 5 months and 8 days in.

(video lost to time)

Top 5 One: Non-Apple iProducts

  1. iBm (International Business Machines, not “i Bowel Movement”) - This one I made up cause I couldn’t think of any others right now… the rest are legitimate
  2. iBeats by Dre - a stupid headphone trend makes headphones with a stupid trendy name
  3. I, Robot - My iPhone held a heavy object above me. It dropped it with the full intention of saving me from it before it crushed me… then it changed its mind.
  4. IHOP - International House of Phones
  5. iFone - a phone company in Mexico that Apple sued… despite them having that name for years before the original iPhone came out. True story.

Top 5: New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Live a more disciplined life overall. Sleep at a decent time. Things of that nature.
  2. Start saving money more successfully.
  3. Keep finding projects to do and things to learn.
  4. Keep the projects I’m currently working on going until completion.
  5. While Melissa is away, I’m going to become the most physically fit man I’ve ever been . Oh yeah, she’s leaving for half a year, I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet. It’s a story for another column.

Top 5: Ideas this Hotel Room has Given Me for Weight Loss

  1. No stove. That one’s easy.
  2. A fridge the size of a shoebox. Also an easy call.
  3. A mirror overhanging the place where you eat. One that only lets you see your face. You have to watch yourself chew every bite. After a while, you don’t feel like eating anymore because you realize you look like a pig.
  4. No light switches. Instead - 10 different lamps which must all be turned on and off by walking to them. Turning the lights off is now exercise.
  5. Instead of shower curtains, a clear glass wall. On the other side of this wall, a full-body mirror, about 10 feet in the distance - so you can get a gooood look at just how fat you look every morning.

Quote One:

“It’s like a car wash for your butt” Anonymous

Quote Two:

“It’s the little wrecking ball in your throat” Melissa’s cousin as an answer to the question ‘what’s a uvula?’

Quote Three:

“So… when I uncork an apocalyptic thunderpoop they all know? Oh great” Redditor Spinozasrobot, after finding out the bathrooms in the rear of an airplane are not very soundproof