#245 - Not Your Usual Column

2 minute read

Motto: Take a jaunt.

This post will contain nothing about Marvel, coding, Life Tracker, second-a-day videos, Google, technology, or me. It will instead be the collection of thoughts I've written down that haven't fit in any posts lately.

The difference between models and super models: fighting crime.

A couple of life tips:

  • If someone correctly asks "should I turn left up here?", your response should not contain the word "right".
  • Your political views are not polite to talk about in the elevator.
  • You have free reign on anything in the world that is subjective. There are tons of subjective subjects. Things aren't so bad if you don't view them that way. Life is what you make it. Although somethings do just objectively suck.

Why is there not a "how to be an adult" class in school? There should certainly be some variant of "how to be a successful member of society" from middle school on up. You should ow to pay taxes, manage money, what general things you should and shouldn't be doing and why, how to take care of yourself, how to take care of someone else, life events, and all sorts of other stuff. These skills are all required to be a successful adult - why are kids expected to just pick these skills up from the aether? You could say "this responsibility is supposed to fall on their parents", but many parents don't, won't, or can't teach their kids these things.

Does anyone actually hate saying "I told you so"? Everyone who says it loves saying it.

What are your goals? Not "two kids and a white picket fence" kind of goals, but "be a better dresser", "eat healthier", and be more well-read" kind of goals... what are they? Now let's pretend for a second that you have just accomplished all of those things. What does your life look like then? How is it different from your current life on a week-to-week, day-to-day, hour-to-hour basis?

Last thing here, this is going to be a dumb, stretched out pun. You've been warned.

I want to get a female puppy and raise her to adulthood. Then I'll take her to a breeder and get her pregnant. Once I'm sure she's pregnant, I'll take electric clippers and shave into her fur a heart with a stem coming out of the top middle. Then I'll take her to a vet and say she's been acting funny. When the vet examines her and says "she's pregnant", I'll look at the vet very seriously and say "that's not possible, she's been spade."

Here's the picture(s) to go out on - prepare yourself:



Top 5: Difficult to Spell Celebrity Names
5. Zooey Deschanel
4. Mathew McConaughey
3. Arnold Schwarzenegger
2. Maggie Gyllenhaal
1. Zach Galifianakis

I can never use semicolons in a way in which I feel confident." - Joe -