#17 - Amy’s Wedding

2 minute read

Motto: Upping the Entertainment Value for My Lovely Audience

As per usual. I have all of the rest of this column done already (the motto, top 5, and quote are all already filled out), but I am stuck with writer’s block for the main body. Go figure.

July 7th my little big sister got married to a big goofball. How big? Almost as tall as me… but with another 20 to 30 pounds of meat distributed throughout mostly his upper body. How goofy? He makes me look like Larry King (Larry King was the most serious person I could think of off the top of my head). I was an usher in their wedding. I ushed. The wedding ceremony was good. Very weddingy. Next came the party bus… complete with more booze than 14 people should drink in a night and a time limit to drink it all before we got to the reception. I didn’t help meet the goal (I still can’t drink, doctor’s orders). A party bus full of drunken people isn’t the most fun place for a sober fellow, but it was a good enough time nonetheless. The reception, however, was grand. I had a blast. It was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. The Top 5 below recounts my favorite moments from the reception.

The entire night was awesome. The wedding, the party bus, the reception, the entire rest of the night… it was all great. I would be so lucky to have that much fun at my own wedding, whenever that ends up being.

I’m going to leave this post off with a set of pictures:

The posing portion of the ushers’ dance in, set to “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred pose

Three select strips from the photobooth. Sadly, I don’t have the pictures of Joe, Jon, and I. photobooth

Amy (the bride) and Sally, the day after the wedding. amy

My bigger sister, Alissa, her fiance, Tony, and my nephew, Leo. He’s a cute little dude. leo

Top 5: Memories from the Reception

  1. Amy and James’s first dance, which abruptly went from a slow dance to a 5 minute first dance extravaganza, venturing across many songs over many genres.
  2. Catching the garter. I out-stretched every single bachelor in the place and nabbed me the “next to get married” signifier. Signifier apparently isn’t a word. I’m making it one.
  3. Mingling with everyone at the reception… which I did quite successfully. Especially given the whole “I didn’t drink” thing.
  4. Dancing. From the dramatic dance-in entry of each of the pairs in the wedding party, to attempting to shuffle, to Jon and Sally’s silly dances, to learning the Cupid Slide, to slow dancing with the bridesmaids. I did really well considering the “I didn’t drink” thing.
  5. Jon and Sally’s jumping back and forth dance together. It was the most perfect blending of two personalities into one wildly appropriate action I’ve ever seen. It made my list of “perfect moments” in my life.


“Take all the time you need to think about it. But I need an answer by Sunday. And the answer has to be yes” James Refenes, in the video he sent to my parents asking to marry my sister